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National Donut Day

Members of law enforcement being more widely recognized for a donut than their badge is one of the more overplayed stereotypes in modern media. Everywhere you look there is an officer grabbing their favorite pastry before a shift. Police Academy did it, The Simpsons did it (“Simpsons did it”), Family Guy did it; it is the world’s worst easter egg.   

However, in the spirit of National Donut Day, the First Tactical blog team wanted to take a short look at how that trend started and then rank the best donuts through an office poll.

History

The history itself isn’t complicated. Officers working graveyard shifts would need a convenient late-nice spot to do paperwork, have a cup of coffee, or just park the cruiser. The convenience of a donut (compared to a full late-night meal at a 24-hour waffle house) was an added benefit. The donut shops enjoyed officers on the premises and officers liked having a place to refuel; thus the stereotype was created.

Writer Cara Giaimo did extensive research on this topic and found that the tradition of pastries and servicemen goes back well over a century. Through her research she discovered a New York Times article detailing a group of volunteer cooks who were baking donuts for a group of soldiers returning home.

 

Rankings

If you plan to ask your office what “The Best Type of Donut” is be prepared for some craziness, disappointment, and judgement. When some of your favorite officemates throw out “Coconut Cream Filled” you’re just never going to be truly prepared for that.

So here is our list of best types of donuts:

-No.10: Anything with berries

  • When writing these we checked on some other online rankings and were appalled at how high other berry-related donuts were. Berries are for muffins and pancakes, stay out of the donut shop.

 

 -No.9: Red Velvet Cupcakes

    • Just stop.

     

    -No.8: Cinnamon Crumb
      • These would be great in small portions. Once you’ve had two bites however the pastry-concrete mix that is now in your mouth can be used to lay house foundation.

       

      -No.7: Apple Fritter
        • What happens if all the donut holes jump into the frier together. Apple gets a pass on the fruit flavors in pretty much every dessert.

         

        -No.6: Jelly
          • Jelly is always there. The only problem is that you’re never completely sure what flavor the jelly is. “It’s red flavor,” could be strawberry, could be cherry, who really knows?

           

          -No.5: Boston Kreme
            • Chocolate, donut, and custard filling, it’s like an eclair but better. Ben Affleck, Boston Kreme, and Football, that’s what Boston does.   

             

            -No.4: Bars
              • Painting with broad strokes here but we are going to bundle chocolate bars, maple bars, jelly-filled bars, karaoke bars, etc, together. The love for bars has to start young when you walk into a donut shop and your parents say “you can only have one”. Boom. You point to the bar and your parents quickly realized they’ve been vanquished and you’re going to be riding a sugar high for the next 6-8 hours. The bar also gets added points for being the only donut that really seems easily dunkable.

               

              -No.3: Old Fashioned
                • Easily the least flashy, but it’s immortalized for a reason. Slowly break off the sides and then you have a complete donut to eat after that. Easily one of the best donuts as well as whiskey cocktails.

                 

                -No.2: Frosted (Sprinkles Optional)
                  • Another broad strokes here but you’ll live. The frosted donut almost takes the cake because it is the perfect balance of puffy pastry and more pronounced frosting, the added benefit of sprinkles gives it that light crunch that is awesome.

                   

                  -No.1: Glazed
                    • The Glazed doughnut is so effective because of its texture. The flavor isn’t too aggressive, but the sweetness makes it melt in your mouth. This one may not have all the bells and whistles, but it’s classic for a reason.

                     

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