Free Read Humor

Crazy St. Patrick's Day Stories

In honor of Saint Patrick’s Day the First Tactical Blog team searched the internet for some of the crazier St. Patrick’s Day mayhem we could find and here is what we came up with:

First Tactical Note: The people in these stories are idiots. Please don’t make your local public safety professionals’ nights any more difficult than they need to be.

Drunk Idiot Climbs Fire Truck, Gets Scared To Death

There are a few absolute truths in regards to things you just don’t do: don’t tug on Superman’s cape, let sleeping dogs lie, and don’t climb a fire truck that you have no business being on. This idiot decided to break the third rule and ended up spending his St. Patrick’s Day in a Canadian drunk tank.

The best part of this video is the firefighter who originally gets out of the truck to yell at him (who wasn’t very friendly DUDE). The guy looks like he could play offensive guard for just about any team in the NFL. He looks like a shorter version of WWE’s Big Show. We just wish it would've ended like this. (It’s still real to us, dammit).

Colorado Goes For 500

Over 400 people were arrested in Colorado on St. Patrick’s Day in 2012. Over 400. That’s literally 100 more people than the Greeks sent to the Battle of Thermopylae (the Greeks had more abs though).

The charges ranged from the usual public intoxication and DUIs to the more abstract defecation in public.

Should’ve Followed Rule Number 1

Remember above where we mentioned you shouldn’t tug on Superman’s cape? Well an idiot (with the last name Booze) in Texas decided St. Patrick’s Day was the ideal day to try to assault a local police officer.

Luckily his alcohol fueled punch wasn’t enough to make the officer bleed his own blood. Booze was arrested and booked on felony assault charges. With a name like Booze - it was destiny.

Saving A Step

 

Idiots getting behind the wheel of a car isn’t something that only happens on holidays. Unfortunately texting and driving or drinking and driving are something that is all too common in today’s world, fortunately the following St. Patrick’s Day story didn’t end up with anyone getting hurt.

A woman in Seattle was driving home while intoxicated one night and ended up dropping her phone while texting. She decided to pull into a nearby driveway to retrieve it. A few minutes into looking for her phone she hears a knock on her window. The knock came from an officer who asked her if there was a reason she was at the front gate of the county jail and quickly realized she was intoxicated.

At least she saved Seattle’s finest a trip.

Ultimately St. Patrick’s Day is about having fun, drinking more food coloring than medically recommended, and listening to bagpipes in a happy setting.

The First Tactical team hopes our readers have a safe night and thank our public safety professionals who spend holidays away from their friends and family.

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